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  What do you say when you're drunk?

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Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.”
Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”
-Winston Churchill

#312
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Jul 16, 2012 10:10 AM - Love - by zeduljui (man)

If there's one thing I hate, it's losing. If there's two things I hate, it's losing and getting cancer.

#311
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Jul 15, 2012 01:32 PM - Party - by zeduljui (man)

Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving. Cop: Sir have you been drinking? Man: No. Cop: Papers. Man: Scissors, I win!

#310
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Jul 14, 2012 02:26 PM - Miscellaneous - by showdoo (man)

I have drunk, and seen the spider

#309
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Jul 14, 2012 02:26 PM - Miscellaneous - by showdoo (man)

Shut the fuck up! You should just fucking smile and blooooow me! Because I deserve it!
-Mel Gibson

#308
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Jul 13, 2012 11:43 AM - Miscellaneous - by showdoo (man)

I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep.

#307
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Jul 11, 2012 12:34 PM - Party - by showdoo (man)

slow down, b! oh.....i shit on myself!

#306
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Jul 11, 2012 12:34 PM - Miscellaneous - by huhuboy (man)

*interrupts in the middle of a serious conversation* So..how old is your daughter? I want to fuck her!

#304
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Jul 10, 2012 04:00 PM - Sex - by maximus (man)

*My buddy's drunk masturbation confessions* dude, every time I jerkoff my balls start to hurt. Aaaaaargh! :D

#305
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Jul 7, 2012 10:24 PM - Sex - by blueshorts (woman)

ssssuck my weiner. here's ketchup.

#303
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Jul 3, 2012 03:50 PM - Sex - by leelothbitch (man)

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