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  What do you say when you're drunk?

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The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

#265
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Jun 13, 2012 06:34 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills . . . Making the last car payment.

#268
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Jun 13, 2012 06:34 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

#266
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Jun 13, 2012 06:34 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

If practice makes perfect, and no one is perfect, why practice?

#272
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Jun 12, 2012 09:01 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.

#260
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Jun 12, 2012 09:01 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

By the time you can make the ends meet, they move the ends.

#271
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Jun 12, 2012 09:01 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

#274
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Jun 11, 2012 07:17 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

#273
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Jun 11, 2012 07:17 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

"I wasnt that drunk!" dude, you called 911 and yelled "shawty's fire burning on the dance floor!"

#277
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Jun 11, 2012 07:17 PM - Party - by Anonymous (man)

hey..heeeeey why did you push me you fuck?!" *swing a punch at best friend*

#275
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Jun 10, 2012 07:06 PM - Party - by Anonymous (man)

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