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  What do you say when you're drunk?

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They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They're not laughing now.

#254
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Jun 10, 2012 07:06 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

Everyone loves a moose. Some just don't know it.

#264
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Jun 10, 2012 07:05 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

#270
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Jun 9, 2012 10:47 AM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

I fucked my husbands bestfriend while he watched, and he loved it.

#276
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Jun 9, 2012 10:47 AM - Sex - by Anonymous (woman)

You know you're old when the candles cost more than the cake.

#256
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Jun 9, 2012 10:47 AM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

No matter how hard you try, you can't teach physics to a dog.

#255
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Jun 7, 2012 09:01 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

"Bring a pitcher of beer every 7 mins until somebody passes out and then bring one every 10 minutes . . ."
-Thornton Mellon, Back to School

#249
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Jun 7, 2012 09:01 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

I wasn't THAT drunk Dude you took my turtle from its cage and started stomping on it screaming 'DIE BOWSER DIE!"

#243
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Jun 5, 2012 06:24 PM - Party - by Anonymous (man)

beavis, im bleeeeding!

#242
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Jun 5, 2012 06:24 PM - Party - by Anonymous (man)

your ass is thick, your accent is thick...and that makes my cock thick!

#232
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Jun 5, 2012 06:24 PM - Sex - by meanandguilty (man)

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