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  What do you say when you're drunk?

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Category: Miscellaneous

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As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...

#259
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Jun 16, 2012 06:33 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

#258
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Jun 19, 2012 08:55 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.

#257
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Jun 17, 2012 01:03 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

You know you're old when the candles cost more than the cake.

#256
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Jun 9, 2012 10:47 AM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

No matter how hard you try, you can't teach physics to a dog.

#255
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Jun 7, 2012 09:01 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They're not laughing now.

#254
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Jun 10, 2012 07:06 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

#253
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Jun 17, 2012 01:03 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

"The luck is gone, the brain is shot, but the liquor we still got. "
-Doug Coughlin from Cocktail

#252
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Jun 18, 2012 11:23 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
-Dean Martin

#251
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Jun 17, 2012 01:03 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily!

#250
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Jun 14, 2012 05:38 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

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