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  What do you say when you're drunk?

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I gotta pee.

#61
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Apr 6, 2012 05:34 PM - Health - by wineenthusiastic (man)

why is my ear under my arm?

#111
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Apr 11, 2012 03:22 PM - Health - by errireria (woman)

When life gives you lemons, make orange juice, then wonder how the heck you did it.

#124
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Apr 13, 2012 02:27 PM - Health - by runner (woman)

a friend of mine: 'dude, just wash your thumb, index and middle finger after you piss. that'll do it!'

#130
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Apr 14, 2012 10:59 PM - Health - by lilwayne (man)

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. – Rodney Dangerfield

#131
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Apr 14, 2012 08:55 PM - Health - by ken (man)

I was behind someone drunk driving all the way home. Then I realized I was having an out of body experience! xD

#134
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Apr 14, 2012 10:59 PM - Health - by ken (woman)

Look! bra, yo, bra! bra! I'm a lefty! That's why one of my balls is a lot bigger than the other one! Look!

#149
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Apr 19, 2012 07:02 PM - Health - by flanderama (man)

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

–Henny Youngman

#171
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Apr 23, 2012 06:23 PM - Health - by stranger (woman)


A long time ago I thought I should quit drinking....
so I stopped thinking

#179
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Apr 27, 2012 10:25 PM - Health - by loveafterwar (man)

What is he thinking? I know he's had more ass than a toilet seat.

#4
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Apr 5, 2012 09:46 PM - Sex - by intimidatedstool (man)

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