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  What do you say when you're drunk?

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im not drunk,....im sober as a jober!

#175
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Apr 25, 2012 07:09 PM - Hate - by stranger (man)

I drink booze because it makes the tears taste less bitter

-Ted the lawyer on Scrubs

#174
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Apr 24, 2012 05:50 PM - Hate - by stranger (man)

I'm drunk and you are still ugly!

#173
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Apr 24, 2012 05:50 PM - Hate - by stranger (man)

“‎”I wasn’t THAT drunk..”
“dude.. you were in my room yelling ‘NEVER’ at my Justin Bieber posters..”

#172
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Apr 24, 2012 05:50 PM - Party - by stranger (man)

Otis Campbell: Every man needs a hobby.
Barney Fife: But, Otis; you ain't got a hobby!
Otis Campbell: I do have a hobby; drinkin'!

#168
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Apr 23, 2012 06:22 PM - Party - by yourbestfriend (man)

Jim: I really wanna have sex with you (got slapped)
Oh, she must be deaf. I better say it loud..................er

#201
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Apr 22, 2012 01:08 PM - Party - by theking (man)

Have you ever been so drunk you wet the bed? Not even sleeping, just standing over, pissing on it?

–Zach Galifianakis

#170
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Apr 22, 2012 01:08 PM - Miscellaneous - by shmoe (man)

-wow this drink is really strong
--that's cause you put 1/4 a bottle of captain in it
-naah it's just all concentrated at the top
-(holds up empty bottle)
--hey where'd my rum go???

#167
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Apr 22, 2012 12:51 PM - Party - by yourbestfriend (man)

piercing strippers is awesome... love me some strippers! gawd! i love strippers!

#166
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Apr 21, 2012 06:24 PM - Party - by yourbestfriend (man)

'I can't feel my face, if anyone has ever felt like hitting me, do it now'. And one of my friends took me up on the offer.

#165
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Apr 21, 2012 06:24 PM - Party - by yourbestfriend (man)

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