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  What do you say when you're drunk?

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You know you`re drunk when you think that the cab fare is the time.
- Dane Cook

#154
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Apr 20, 2012 10:01 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

'I can't feel my face, if anyone has ever felt like hitting me, do it now'. And one of my friends took me up on the offer.

#165
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Apr 21, 2012 06:24 PM - Party - by yourbestfriend (man)

me: I wasn't that drunk.
my friend: dude, you threw my hamster, saying 'go pikachu'!

#2
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Apr 5, 2012 09:29 PM - Party - by wearyfustilarian (man)

fuck! my credit card is stuck in my computer!

#121
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Apr 12, 2012 11:24 PM - Miscellaneous - by scienceproject2 (woman)

I was behind someone drunk driving all the way home. Then I realized I was having an out of body experience! xD

#134
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Apr 14, 2012 10:59 PM - Health - by ken (woman)

*playing with a lighter* Where’d the fire go…? Let me touch the fire… Where’d it go. I know where it went. It went inside me. You must have touched the last one and it’s inside you now.

#292
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Jun 22, 2012 06:15 PM - Miscellaneous - by suckonsocks (woman)

I don't have a drinking problem.. I drink, I get drunk, I pass out, NO PROBLEM!

#169
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Apr 23, 2012 06:22 PM - Party - by yourbestfriend (woman)

One of the items on my bucket list is to spend a day drinking Colt 45s with an old guy.

#37
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Apr 5, 2012 10:24 PM - Miscellaneous - by adequategudgeon (man)

finish your beer, there are sober people in india.

#193
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May 9, 2012 10:07 PM - Party - by affection (man)

Go ahead. Drink out of my toilet. Just don't let Jimmy's foot kick your head.

#297
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Jun 22, 2012 06:16 PM - Miscellaneous - by rangerman (woman)

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