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What do you say when you're drunk?

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A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing.

#263

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Jun 15, 2012 06:40 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus.
- Ozzy Osbourne

#151

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Apr 20, 2012 10:00 PM - Love - by Anonymous (man)

When life gives you lemons, make orange juice, then wonder how the heck you did it.

#124

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Apr 13, 2012 02:27 PM - Health - by runner (woman)

I had sex with a deaf, drunk chick once..... I talked her into it!

#194

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May 9, 2012 10:07 PM - Sex - by affection (man)

"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems."
-Homer J. Simpson

#247

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Jun 16, 2012 06:33 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

im not drunk,....im sober as a jober!

#175

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Apr 25, 2012 07:09 PM - Hate - by stranger (man)

“‎”I wasn’t THAT drunk..”
“dude.. you were in my room yelling ‘NEVER’ at my Justin Bieber posters..”

#172

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Apr 24, 2012 05:50 PM - Party - by stranger (man)

Why did you come out of the bathroom with ranch dressing?

#45

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Apr 5, 2012 10:36 PM - Miscellaneous - by gloriousmiscreant (man)

I don't like cocaine. I just like the way it smells.

#91

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Apr 9, 2012 08:05 PM - Party - by Anonymous (woman)

Simon says, clap your hands...now Simon says, touch my dick!.. C'mon don't be a poor sport!

#229

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May 25, 2012 07:26 PM - Sex - by letyougo (man)

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