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What do you say when you're drunk?

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Simon says, clap your hands...now Simon says, touch my dick!.. C'mon don't be a poor sport!

#229

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May 25, 2012 07:26 PM - Sex - by letyougo (man)

some random cocky dude: 'man, my car goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds! wooooho!'
me: 'come on you fag.. here's a bathroom scale. put your girl on it. it does the same! zing!'

#127

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Apr 14, 2012 12:34 AM - Party - by excitedone (man)

I have boobs, does anyone want to touch them?

#42

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Apr 5, 2012 10:36 PM - Sex - by uneasyknave (woman)

my mexican roomie is my resident whore

#217

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May 30, 2012 07:18 PM - Sex - by the chicken (woman)

my cousin: from a scale from 1 to drunk, how drunk are you?`
some dude: black on black, on black, on black! boom! *mumbling*

#90

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Apr 9, 2012 08:05 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (man)

Scotty, beam me up!

#56

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Apr 5, 2012 10:51 PM - Miscellaneous - by guinnessmute (woman)

Where's the paper towel? I have to pee.

#30

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Apr 5, 2012 10:24 PM - Miscellaneous - by livelyratsbane (man)

You're my best friend!

#82

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Apr 6, 2012 05:58 PM - Love - by baileysdisastrous (man)

*my sister, fucked up* I have no plans. Hello, I'm Becky. Party hardy! Let's uh...uh..talk about your nooose, uh..

#213

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May 25, 2012 07:26 PM - Miscellaneous - by bustout (woman)

Im not a writer with drinking problems,
Im a drinker with writing problems.
-Brendan Behan

#177

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Apr 27, 2012 10:25 PM - Miscellaneous - by fiffy (man)

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